The vodka is absolut-ly empty, the escape hatch is ajar, and the helmsman is no longer lashed to the wheel...
QuotaBillsWhen you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra
The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky
No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. - Turkish Proverb
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis
Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary
All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. - Earl Nightingale
The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes
I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. - Todd Barry
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike
He who would arrive at the appointed end must follow a single road and not wander through many ways. - Seneca
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly
By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else. From beauty no road leads to reality. - Hannah Arendt
Every road you take has a destination. What road are you on and will it take you where you really want to go? - Unknown
Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. - Stewart Brand
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. - Jack Kerouac
Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. - Calvin Coolidge
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. - C S Lewis