Twin Dish

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia