#1 humor site on the 'net

Welcome to our Ool

Where guests mind their P's and Q's

Welcome to our Ool thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there is a sea there are pirates. - Greek Proverb

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H. Spurgeon

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

The landlocked sea is Greek or Roman, the boundless sea is Portuguese. - Fernando Pessoa

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

They are all discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. - Francis Bacon

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. - Steven Wright

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Be as beneficent as the sun or the sea, but if your rights as a rational being are trenched on, die on the first inch of your territory. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal