#1 humor site on the 'net

Welcome to our Ool

Where guests mind their P's and Q's

Welcome to our Ool thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Who is staring at the sea is already sailing a little. - Paul Carvel

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Love: An ocean of emotions surrounded entirely by expenses. - Thomas R Dewar

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

They are all discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. - Francis Bacon

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Ideals are like the stars: we never reach them, but like the mariners of the sea, we chart our course by them. - Carl Schurz

Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. - Kahlil Gibran

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. - Steven Wright

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite. - William Shakespeare

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. - Mohandas Gandhi


Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake

Remote Outdoors

Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor

Fix It Later Detour

I Smell A Rat

Adhesive Shade

Be Anything You Want

Tractor Pull

Canadian Ice Shrub

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Toepener

No-Lake Picture

Logging Chairlift

Milkshake Desweetener

Dog Marathon

Global Warming Protest

Canadian Fast Food