#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Fame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold. - Vanna Bonta

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale