#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Every mile is two in winter. - George Herbert

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

You can't get too much winter in the winter. - Robert Frost

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. - Hal Borland

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - Mark Twain

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. - Edith Wharton

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea