#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

You can't get too much winter in the winter. - Robert Frost

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - Mark Twain

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers

Anti-Theft Car

SUV Haircut

Two Feet of Snow in Seattle

Chevforodge

Redneck Skurfing

Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed

Toothpaste Holder

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up