#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Every mile is two in winter. - George Herbert

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

You can't get too much winter in the winter. - Robert Frost

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - James Quin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Fame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold. - Vanna Bonta

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank