#1 humor site on the 'net

A Beautiful Message About Growing Old

A red rose remembrance

A Beautiful Message About Growing Old thanks to Wayne Nowazek










































Crap ...






I forgot what it was ...

QuotaBills
Age is only a number. - Lexi Starling

If you rest, you rust. - Helen Hayes

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

I was born in 1962. And the room next to me was 1963. - Joan Rivers

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

I have a furniture problem. My chest has fallen into my drawers. - Billy Casper

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Middle age is when, wherever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater. - Denis Norden

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

Middle age is when everything new you feel is likely to be a symptom. - Laurence J Peter

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

I defended the republic in my youth; I will not desert it in old age. - Cicero

Middle age begins with the first mortgage and ends when you drop dead. - Herb Caen

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work. - Milton Berle

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Middle age is when you are not inclined to exercise anything but caution. - Arthur Murray

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

There are three periods in life: youth, middle age, and 'how well you look.' - Nelson Rockefeller

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage. - John A Holmes

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

Middle age is when your classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you. - Bennett Cerf

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Spiritual sloth, or acedia, was known as The Sin of the Middle Ages. It's the sin of my middle age, too. - Mignon McLaughlin

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

Middle age is the time in life when, after pulling in your stomach, you look as if you ought to pull in your stomach. - Unknown

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato


Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch

Puppy Love

Zipbridge