#1 humor site on the 'net

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Windows and doors optional - swim right off your own balcony

Acapulco Waterfront Property thanks to joe-kster

Yes, water is on the front, and comes with yacht, senor!

Acapulco Waterfront Property thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is impossible to overdo luxury. - French Proverb

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon

Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity. - G K Chesterton

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury. - Coco Chanel

Threats are the last resort of a man with no vocabulary. - Tamora Pierce

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit. - Edward Abbey

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

A sentimentalist is simply one who desires to have the luxury of an emotion without paying for it. - Oscar Wilde

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?