#1 humor site on the 'net

AIG Bonus

AIG boss urges staff to return at least half of bonus money

AIG Bonus thanks to Jitendra Joshie

'Everything was done with the co-operation and knowledge of the Federal Reserve.' - AIG chairman Edward Liddy
QuotaBills
When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

The rich are different - they have more money. - Ernest Hemingway

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression. - W.E.B. Du Bois

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

The key to making money in stocks is not to get scared out of them. - Peter Lynch

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D. Rockefeller

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? - Steven Wright

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. - Thomas Sowell

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet