Baby Sitting

No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

Everyone is the son of his own works. - Miguel de Cervantes

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. - Jim Valvano

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

'Healing,' Papa would tell me, 'is not a science, but the intuitive art of wooing nature.' - W H Auden

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten