Bucket Bath

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

Distinct: How a child says something smelled bad. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. - Jimmy Fallon

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. - Bertrand Russell

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien