#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Kiss

Kissed by a wild moose

Canadian Kiss thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Courage without conscience is a wild beast. - Robert G Ingersoll

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. - Victor Hugo

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver

He is a fool that kisseth the maid when he may kiss the mistress. - English Proverb

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god. - Aristotle

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I hump the wild to take it all in, there is no bag limit on happiness. - Ted Nugent

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life. - Stephen Chbosky

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

The happiness of life is made up of the little charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

New York is my Lourdes where I go for spiritual refreshment...a place where you are least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. - Brendan Behan

On the subject of wild mushrooms, it is easy to tell who is an expert and who is not: the expert is the one who is still alive. - Donal Henahan

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it. - Henry David Thoreau

Happiness is to see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a wild flower, to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in a single hour. - William Blake

The moose is singularly grotesque and awkward to look at. Why should it stand so high at the shoulders? Why have so long a head? Why have no tail to speak of? - Henry David Thoreau

If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose. - Mira Grant

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P.J. O'Rourke

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you...
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. - e e cummings


Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale