Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality

In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

There is no preparation for sudden celebrity. - Scarlett Johannson

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind. - Chen Jen

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. - Bill Maher

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. - Albert Einstein

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted. - Mother Teresa

Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman