Coming In, Going Out

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it. - Greek Proverb

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. - Thomas Jefferson

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay