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Bubba's Bump Bandaid

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Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

This is the machine age. The only thing people do by hand is scratch themselves. - Joe Laurie

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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