Designer Dog

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

The painting has a life of its own. - Jackson Pollock

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

It's not your painting anymore. It stopped being your painting the moment that you finished it. - Jeff Melvoin

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash