America would be a better place with this type of drug problem
Drugs stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. "Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
I replied, "I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us."
Pugs Not Drugs - Gemma Correll
Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs. - Robin Williams
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I'd stay away from Ecstasy: this is a drug so strong it makes white people think they can dance. - Lenny Henry
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal.
- Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart