#1 humor site on the 'net

Eat Your Vegetables

Little Johnny looked forward to eating his vegetables

Eat Your Vegetables thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon


Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough