#1 humor site on the 'net

Family Picture

When 'Who's on first?' could be 'Who's in the center?'

Family Picture thanks to Richard Thiessen

QuotaBills
A selfie a day keeps the friends away. - Unknown

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

A good photograph is knowing where to stand. - Ansel Adams

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Religions cannot change you. If you are angry, you will become an angry Muslim or Hindu. If you are righteous, you will become a righteous Christian or Jew. - Gary Zukav

Allah's the Arabic term for God. Stand up for God, fight for God, work for God and do the right thing, and go the right way, things will end up in your corner. - Muhammad Ali

A neighborhood friend showed me how it was possible to go to a camera shop and pick up chemicals for pennies... literally... and develop your own film and make prints. - Leonard Nimoy

Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures. - Vince Lombardi

My dream concept is that I have a camera and I am trying to photograph what is essentially invisible. And every once in a while I get a glimpse of her and I grab that picture. - Leonard Nimoy

My parents elected me president of the family when I was 4. We actually had an election every year and I always won. I'm an only child, and I could count on my mother's vote. - Condoleezza Rice

I'm Italian, but my family isn't stereotypical. I only have one sister and we don't yell or throw pasta at each other. My mother doesn't even have a secret spaghetti sauce recipe. - Jennifer Esposito

Let us remember we are all part of one American family. We are united in common values, and that includes belief in equality under the law, basic respect for public order, and the right of peaceful protest. - Barack Obama

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. - Steven Wright

I was too young to be an avid enthusiast for the franchise, but like billions of people I remember as a child sitting around with the family on a Friday night with pizza and popcorn and a 'Die Hard' movie on. - Jai Courtney

We who don't want radical Islam to spread must compete with the agents of radical Islam. I want to see what would happen if Christians, feminists and Enlightenment thinkers were to start proselytizing in the Muslim community. - Ayaan Hirsi Ali

My father worked for the railroad, and whenever a train crashed, we would go as a family and steal food from the boxcars. One year we stole a case of butterscotch pudding that was for export to Israel. It took us years to get through. - Chuck Palahniuk

There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family. But he can't make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people. - Will Rogers

'Halal in the Family' will expose a broad audience to some of the realities of being Muslim in America. By using satire, we will encourage people to reconsider their assumptions about Muslims, while providing a balm to those experiencing anti-Muslim bias. - Aasif Mandvi

To the Muslim woman, the hijab provides a sense of empowerment. It is a personal decision to dress modestly according to the command of a genderless Creator; to assert pride in self, and embrace one's faith openly, with independence and courageous conviction. - Randa Abdel-Fattah

I'm a firm believer in God himself, but that's as far as I can go. I'm not any denomination. I'm not Catholic or Presbyterian or Baptist or Methodist or Jewish or Muslim. I'm none of those things. And I'm sure that's just fine with God. - Ray Charles

Al Gore, the former vice-president of the United States, lives in a mansion that uses more electricity than the average family's bungalow! David Suzuki rides on a bus that uses more fuel than a Smart car to get across Canada! And this is just the tip of the vanishing iceberg! - Linwood Barclay


Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire