#1 humor site on the 'net

Fireman Mouth

Hiring a copywriter not sufficiently fluent in English

Fireman Mouth thanks to Irvin Kauffman

QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

A closed mouth gathers no feet. - American Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Panic is not an effective long-term organizing strategy. - Starhawk

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. - Chico Marx

He's got some grand strategy that he can't revulge. - Archie Bunker

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department. - David Packard

Don't be afraid to get creative and experiment with your marketing. - Mike Volpe

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The best time management strategy: don't find the time, find the why. - Chris Guillebeau

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Advertising promotes the divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph Butler

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I used to advertise my loyalty and I don't believe there is a single person I loved that I didn't eventually betray. - Albert Camus

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

Advertising moves the goods - if it's good advertising. Bad advertising doesn't move the goods because it doesn't move the buyers. - Unknown

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Closing Time

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning