#1 humor site on the 'net

Flower Shop For Men

When you don't know what you did wrong

Flower Shop For Men thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Yes, all men must die. But we are not men. - Daenerys Targaryen

The graveyards are full of indispensable men. - Charles de Gaulle

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. - Kin Hubbard

Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

Men must have legends, else they will die of strangeness. - Les A Murray

Lord, Lord! How subject we old men are to this vice of lying. - William Shakespeare

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

It is of men, and of them only, that one should always be frightened. - Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

I'm a man. Men have got another thing... they got waddya call, a carnival instinct. - Archie Bunker

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

The one quality that can be developed by studious reflection and practice is the leadership of men. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

What distinguishes the majority of men from the few is their inability to act according to their beliefs. - John Stuart Mill

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not? - George Bernard Shaw

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training