#1 humor site on the 'net

Hand Tool

Missed it by that much...

Hand Tool thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

The cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. - Jonathan Swift

You can't hold your head high with your hand out. - Yiddish Proverb

Excite the mind and the hand will reach for the pocket. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When my wrestlers got their hands raised, I jumped for joy. - Dan Gable

United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn

When we cannot trace God's hand we can trust His heart. - Charles H. Spurgeon

Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves. - James Rollins

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand. - Apache Proverb

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

I ain't got nothing in that hand. Look at that, this guy is suspective of everything. - Archie Bunker

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

How little you know about the age you live in if you think that honey is sweeter than cash in hand. - Ovid

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. - Will Rogers

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves. - Rollo May

Contracting COVID19 is not a death sentence. So, maintain social distancing and wash your hands frequently. - Abhijit Naskar

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all of their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson

I'm telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I'm discovering that things were never in my hands. - Gordon Atkinson

Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer. - Elbert Hubbard

I've learned that people will seldom let you down if they understand that your destiny is in their hands, and vice versa. - Harvey Mackay

We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both. - Louis D. Branders

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

The world is very different now, for man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life. - John F Kennedy

No one is going to hand me success. I must go out and get it myself. That's why I'm here. To dominate. To conquer. Both the world and myself. - Unknown


Kiosk Hours

Borderline Stupidity

Inside Outside Thinking

Bacon Soda Sales

Kia vs Nokia

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Fluent Sarcasm

Stork Exhaust

Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta