#1 humor site on the 'net

Lamp Escape

Watt do you think he's looking for?

Lamp Escape thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Hold on to your bright ideas

QuotaBills
I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode. - Unknown

To a warden Utopia is an escape-proof jail. - Mark Twain

Often a lack of energy is considered to be patience. - Kin Hubbard

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

Of all the escape mechanisms, death is the most efficient. - H L Mencken

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Research is the historical novelist's map, constraint, and purest energy. - Donald McCaig

A beautiful diamond asks to be viewed from many angles, shining in the light. - Clare Josa

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does - Lemony Snicket

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown

Truth is like heat or light; its vibrations are endless, and are endlessly felt. - Margaret Deland

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

To send light into the darkness of men's hearts - such is the duty of the artist. - Robert Schumann

The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. - Carl Jung

Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. - Sarah Bernhardt

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

The plague fell upon the whole world.. not a single man in the whole Roman Empire could escape. - Procopius

Imagine a place where everyone chooses to bring energy, passion, and a positive attitude every day. - Stephen C. Lundin

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

People say that forgiving is my flaw, but I really believe that holding grudges and anger is a waste of energy. - Mayte Garcia

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Direct your energy toward achieving a goal, and tackle the problems with an emphasis on edging closer to a successful result. - Harvey Mackay

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Bill Murray

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. - Leonora Carrington

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

Closed systems run down and get more chaotic over time. Always get better by being open to outside energy and templates of better ways to function. - Henry Cloud

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank