#1 humor site on the 'net

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Rare photo of a man vacuuming

Men's Vacuum Cleaner thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

Home is home, though it be homely. - English Proverb

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's very hard to make a home for a man if he's always in it. - Winifred Kirkland

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home? - Archie Bunker

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. - John E Pearce

The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely. - Louisa May Alcott

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

You can go other places - you can live on the other side of the world, but you can't ever leave home. - Sue M Kidd

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

I don't want to end up in an old folks' home wearing incompetence pads. I'm still compost mentis. - Harriet Wynn

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard for a Dome - Emily Dickinson

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve. It is life's undress rehearsal, its back-room, its dressing room. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren


Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds