#1 humor site on the 'net

Middle East Airlines

Airbus 'grounded' on maiden flight

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside it's hangar in Toulouse, France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not been configured properly...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The computers automatically released all the brakes, and set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the £200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the news blackout in the local media.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.

QuotaBills
Flew: Plane sickness. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

The bird who dares to fall is the bird who learns to fly. - Unknown

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

And 'tis my faith, that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. - William Wordsworth

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

The blazing wings of dawn spirited me away, Dragon-swift above the suns-rise, flying to my destiny beyond the clouds. - Marc Secchia

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short

Pinocchio Playground

Bike Bed

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

TP Kid

Soccer Overpass

Aussie Starter Fluid

Laxative Cream Pie

Tea Lights

Modern Stick Family

Florida's Retired Bikers

Arm and Leg Chair

Did you say her name was Alice?

Time Flies

Dunce Hat

Father's Day Selfie

New Arrival

Helping Hands In The Stands

Invisible Patient

Cellfie

Soccer City