#1 humor site on the 'net

Noodle Art

That's using your noodle!

Noodle Art thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake