Not-So-Smart Car

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin