Pa Loves Women

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

Cowards die many times before their actual deaths. - Julius Caesar

Our hope is as certain as Jesus's grave is empty. - Sam Allberry

Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor. - Joseph Addison

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

If you're afraid to die, you will not be able to live. - James Baldwin

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. - Gautama Siddharta

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I shall never act differently, even if I have to die for it many times. - Socrates

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done easily lying down. - Woody Allen

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I'm not afraid of death. It's the stake one puts up in order to lay the game of life. - Jean Giraudoux

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

Hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don't. - Stephen King

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

My Uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: 'What are you looking at?' - Margaret Smith

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave. - Unknown

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If you removed all the arteries, veins, and capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end... the person will die. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine