Pa Loves Women

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Don't go to the grave with life unused. - Bobby Bowden

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Never live like a king, and die like a pauper. - Joe Segal

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

Life insurance is the only game you win when you die. - Unknown

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. - John Bulwer

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. - Joseph Stalin

Most people die with their music still locked up inside them. - Benjamin Disraeli

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H.H. Munro

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I don't mind dying. Trouble is, you feel so bloody stiff the next day. - George Axelrod

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of the other of us has to go. - Oscar Wilde

Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave. - Joan Crawford

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. - Robert Ingersoll

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. - George S Patton

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde