Redneck Car Repair

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright