Redneck Car Repair

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin