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Redneck Christmas Lights

Bubba's double puts up the Christmas decorations

Redneck Christmas Lights thanks to Barry McCartney

How to grab your neighbour's attention this year

Bubba truly outdid himself this year with his Christmas decorations. Many people came screaming to his house offering assistance. A 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder, and almost killed herself putting it against the house - was she ever ticked off when she found out that Bubba was fake!

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. - L.J. Peter

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker


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