Redneck Sprinkler

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

And isn't he as slow as a wet week! - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. - Alex Haley

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend