Redneck Sprinkler

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. - Dr. Seuss

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown