#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Sprinkler

How Bubba Sprite-ns up his lawn

Redneck Sprinkler thanks to Fred Jerant

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

And isn't he as slow as a wet week! - Unknown

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob Marley

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. - Alex Haley

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend


Swimsuit Police

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Dutch Cowboy

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

Lockdown Advice