Redneck Water Heater

Love begins at home. - Mother Teresa

There's no place like home. - The Wizard of Oz

Home is wherever I'm with you. - Edward Sharpe

Ideal Guest: One who stays at home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. - John E Pearce

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

America is a melting pot; the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top. - Charlie King

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath