Redneck Water Heater

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion. - Leigh Hunt

My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon. - Christina Frederick

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home. - Confucius

Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's very hard to make a home for a man if he's always in it. - Winifred Kirkland

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Liberate yourself today. At work or at home - you don't have to be how others expect you to be. - Elaine Harrison

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright