#1 humor site on the 'net

Refreshing Dump

Always drink upstream from the herd

Refreshing Dump thanks to Ben Lavrinoff

Why you should drink bottled water

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

One day someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?" So I drank the water. No more problem. - Alexander Jodorowsky

While intent is the seed of manifestation, action is the water that nourishes the seed. Your actions must reflect your goals in order to achieve true success. - Steve Maraboli

Perhaps there is a limit to the grieving that the human heart can do. As when one adds salt to a tumbler of water, there comes a point where simply no more will be absorbed. - Sarah Waters

We all know what flopping is when we see it. The stuff that you see is where guys aren't really getting hit at all, and are just flailing around like a fish out of water. - Kobe Bryant

Owls hoot in B flat, cuckoos in D, but the water ousel sings in the voice of the stream. She builds her nest back of the waterfalls so the water is a lullaby to the little ones. - Karen Joy Fowler

The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required. - Unknown

I just love mermaids. I was a mermaid in my past life. I just feel it when I go in the sea. I just feel a connection there between me, and the water, and the fish - they speak to me - and the shells - they ring out to me. - Ella Henderson

Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim. - Thomas B. Macaulay


Chair Folders

Seeing Eye Cat

Swim Fingers

Vatican Wall

Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man!

Modern Romance

T-Shirt Answer

Handbell Registration

Spamdex Pork Shorts

What's Your Blues Name?

Big Sister vs Big Brother

Growing Own Pot

Boat Tram

Duct Tape Wall Bed

Pilot Lounge

How Do You Like Your Steak?

Chopper Bike

Bed Bug

Truck Load

Wallusion

Soft Landing - Kowabunga, Dude!

Baby Hatching

Piglet Hubs

Hummers Only Look Tough