#1 humor site on the 'net

Sick Tombstone

Some warnings come too late

Sick Tombstone thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
Death takes no bribes. - Benjamin Franklin

Life is a near-death experience. - George Carlin

I hope they bury me near a strait man. - Groucho Marx

Biography lends to death a new terror. - Oscar Wilde

To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M Barrie

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Biography is one of the new terrors of death. - John Arbuthnot

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

The act of dying is also one of the acts of life. - Marcus Aurelius

Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. - W H Auden

The first step to eternal life is you have to die. - Chuck Palahniuk

Death is the greatest evil, because it cuts off hope. - William Hazlitt

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. - Unknown

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. - JRR Tolkien

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

If you're afraid to die, you will not be able to live. - James Baldwin

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. - Emiliano Zapata

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

Men, remember there is no retreat from here. You must die where you stand. - Colin Campbell

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

Hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don't. - Stephen King

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Life is better than death, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. - Alice Walker

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

The fence around a cemetery is foolish, for those inside can't come out and those outside don't want to get it. - Arthur Brisbane

Philanthropy without scale and sustainability is like any other bad business that will simply wither and die on the vine. - Naveen Jain

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another. - Ernest Hemingway

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Sir, your remarks are repugnant to me, and I disagree with your viewpoints. But I will defend to the death your right to express them. - Voltaire

Until I die, I'm going to keep doing. My people need me. They need somebody that's not taking from them and is giving them something. - Clara McBride Hale

Today is yesterday's victory, yesterday is tomorrow's conquest, and tomorrow is today's war. Though I face death, I am not fearsome. - Nad├Ęge Richards

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick