Swine Flew

In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Not enough people know what Lyme disease is and the dangers of being bitten by an insect. - Gigi Hadid

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield