#1 humor site on the 'net

Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Hogwash: Pig's laundry. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Chirpes: A canarial disease from kissing a canary. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Those who have the disease called Jesus will never be cured. - Brennan Manning

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine. - Irwin Edman

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer. - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?