The Good Old Days

Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler