The Good Old Days

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman