The Good Old Days

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan