#1 humor site on the 'net

The Good Old Days

Instantaneous invigorators and cures of the 1900's

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Bottle of Bayer's heroin - Between 1890 and 1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive substitute for morphine. It was also used to treat children with a strong cough

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Metcalf's Coca Wine was one of a huge variety of wines with cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say that it would make you happy and it would also work as a medicinal treatment

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Mariani wine was the most famous Coca wine around 1875. Pope Leo XIII used to carry one bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo Mariani (the producer) with a Vatican gold medal

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

A paper weight promoting C.F. Boehringer & Soehne (Mannheim, Germany). They were proud of being the biggest producers in the world of products containing Quinine and Cocaine

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Opium for Asthma - Considered safe since it contained no more than 40% alcohol opium

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Cocaine Tablets - All stage actors, singers, teachers and preachers had to have them in the 1900's for a maximum performance. Great to 'smooth' the voice

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Cocaine Toothache Drops - This would make them sleep well - Opium with 46% alcohol

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Opium for Newborns - Very popular for children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the pain, they made the children happy

No wonder they were called 'The Good Old Days'!

QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman

We're Not Gonna Take It

Vinyl Richie

Karma Towing

Red Wine Diet

Snow Geese

Family Birthday Reminder

The Circular File

Pair Tree

'Top Down' Snow Removal

Winter Kayaking

Mustache Breeze

Something Positive

Snowstorm Closure

Cold Cross Bunny

Motorcycle For Sale

She's A Keeper