#1 humor site on the 'net

They Found Your Balls

Why you shouldn't go into the weeds looking for your golf ball

They Found Your Balls thanks to Barry McCartney

They Found Your Balls thanks to Barry McCartney

They Found Your Balls thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

The gods play games with men as balls. - Titus Maccius Plautus

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake. - Persian Proverb

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea