#1 humor site on the 'net

Weight Watchers Bus

Tipping the scales on your ride home?

Weight Watchers Bus thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's too late Edith, my bus has sailed. - Archie Bunker

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai

CPU Marshmallows

Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery

Hot Tub Cover

Piano Dress

Parking Guide

Apology to Potential Criminals

Before Morning Coffee