Almost Done

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Those who seek faultless friends will remain friendless. - Unknown

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. - Sicilian Proverb

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Mumford

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Instead of loving your enemies treat your friends a little better. - Ed Howe

A quarrel between friends, when made up, adds a new tie to friendship. - Saint Francis de Sales

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Lately all my friends are worried they're turning into their fathers. I'm worried I'm not. - Dan Zevin

The men who have furnished me with my greatest inspiration have not been men of wealth, but men of deeds. - James C Penney

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends. My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends! - Dr. Seuss

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken