#1 humor site on the 'net

Amish Christmas Lights

Amazing Christmas light display in Lancaster County

Amish Christmas Lights thanks to Diane Baugh

You know very well that the Amish don't use electricity!

QuotaBills
He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

With great power comes great electricity bill. - Unknown

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Voltage: The era that began after the discovery of electricity - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. - Omar N Bradley

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Big John

Do Must Marriage

Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner