#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Sitting Animals

Lending a hand to the animal kingdom

Baby Sitting Animals thanks to Karen Moore

Baby Sitting Animals thanks to Karen Moore

Baby Sitting Animals thanks to Karen Moore

Baby Sitting Animals thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lamb: An animal that gets more sheepish with age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Animals are like people because people are animals. - Barbara T Gates

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. - Erik Satie

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Animals are simply sophisticated machines created by the infinitely skilled artisan, God. - Brian G Henning

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen Covey

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

Mule: 1. An animal that is stubbornly backward about going forward; 2. An animal who boasts that his ancestors were horses. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison


I Like Cooking

Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids

Redneck Advent Calendar

Programmer Logic

Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon