Biblical Humour

Just praise is only a debt. - G Berkeley

People worry, and God smiles. - Hebrew Proverb

Faith is under the left nipple. - Martin Luther

Praise doesn't pay the bills. - German Proverb

I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

If God is dead then everything is justifiable. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

The prospects are bright as the promises of God. - Adoniram Judson

We must trust God with what we can't control. - David Jeremiah

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of all the bad men, religious bad men are the worst. - C S Lewis

Many people believe in God, but not many believe God. - Mark Dudley

Our hope is as certain as Jesus's grave is empty. - Sam Allberry

A man who is intimate with God is not intimidated by man. - Leonard Ravenhill

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. - Jewish Proverb

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. - Corrie ten Boom

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - J.M. Barrie

He who boasts of his descent praises the deeds of another. - Seneca

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Mumford

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. - Ovid

God does not require we be successful, only that we be faithful. - Mother Teresa

Hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man. - Victor Hugo

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

God's work, done in God's way, will never lack God's supply. - J Hudson Taylor

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

The belly is the reason why man does not so readily take himself for a god. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs. - Susie F

All effort is in the last analysis sustained by faith that it is worth making. - Ordway Tead

Dr Donne's verses are like the peace of God - they pass all understanding. - James I

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. - Matthew 21:22

God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. - Unknown

You can always borrow a corkscrew from a member of the Protestant Episcopal Church. - Chauncey Depew

The God who speaks with utmost integrity must have messengers who represent him well. - Haddon W. Robinson

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous. - Thornton Wilder

Most God-ordained dreams die because we are not willing to do something that seems illogical. - Mark Batterson

Praise the Lord. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. - Bible

He has great tranquility of heart who cares neither for the praises nor the fault-finding of men. - Thomas a Kempis

It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to. - C S Lewis

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't. - Hyman Rickover

He that takes truth for his guide, and duty for his end, may safely trust to God's providence to lead him aright. - Blaise Pascal

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall flow in inexhaustible streams... through it, God will spread his word. - Johannes Gutenberg

We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies, but he hopes he'll never have to use it. - C S Lewis

The blood of Christ covers all of our sins, but each of us must do personal business with God in order to experience his forgiveness. - Lewis B Smedes

Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works. - John Keats

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith