Black Golfer

Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Nature Lover: A person who, when treed by a bear, enjoys the view - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Endurance is not only to bear the hard thing but to turn it into glory. - Win Barclay

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. - Robert Ingersoll

Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he's talented, but he's not famous. - Kim Kardashian

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill