#1 humor site on the 'net

Box Car

Bubba proudly displays this year's bumper crop

Box Car thanks to Carol Thornton

Latest in 2x4 bumper design

QuotaBills
Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice. - Henry Ford

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

At the end of the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. - Italian Proverb

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Toss out the rules; don't think outside the box, throw the box away. - Nido Qubein

The mind is not a vessel that needs filling but wood that needs igniting. - Plutarch

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

As the sculptor devotes himself to wood and stone, I would devote myself to my soul. - Toyohiko Kagawa

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Sometimes the hardest pieces of a puzzle to assemble, are the ones missing from the box. - Dixie Waters

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is. - Angelina Jolie

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai

CPU Marshmallows

Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery