#1 humor site on the 'net

British Gas Meter

Utility bill bailout plan cleans out investors

British Gas Meter thanks to Mel Hardman

Brits convert Smart gas meters to Smart bill meters

QuotaBills
Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

When it comes to corruption, nothing succeeds like money. - American Proverb

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. - Irving Fisher

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Being rich is better than being poor, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen

One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar. - Charles Montgomery Burns

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D Rockefeller

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

You cannot spend your way out of recession or borrow your way out of debt. - Daniel Hannan

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Animation is like running a marathon, and making a movie is like a 100 meter sprint. - Marjane Satrapi

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

They say love is more important than money. Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? - Dave Chapelle

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt. - Judith Olney

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

Economy is going without something you do want in case, perhaps, you should someday want something you probably won't want. - Anthony Hope

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded as the ultimate currency - the currency by which we take measure of our lives. - Tal Ben-Shahar

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark

Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat

LippoPotumus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Senior's Golf Cart

Throwaway Sport Paper

Blonde Geometry Student

Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone

Family Bike