Candy Hairess

A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The great thing about candy is that it can't be spoiled by the adult world. Candy is innocent. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? - Molly Harper

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien