#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Doormat

Why you should beware of the cat

Cat Doormat thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Beware the man of a single book. - Bertrand Russell

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Beware the tyranny of the minority. - Latin Proverb

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

Beware of your friends, not your enemies. - Yiddish Proverb

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Beware how you take away hope from another human being. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. - Aesop

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What you applaud you encourage, but beware what you celebrate. - Ravi Zacharias

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Beware of what you wish for in youth, because you will get it in middle life. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. - Charles H. Spurgeon

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Beware the danger signals that flag problems: silence, secretiveness, or sudden outburst. - Sylvia Porter

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

O beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. - William Shakespeare

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

The words 'figure' and 'fictitious' both derive from the same Latin root, 'fingere.' Beware! - M.J. Moroney

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Beware the stories you read or tell: subtly, at night, beneath the waters of consciousness, they are altering your world. - Ben Okri

Beware of endeavoring to become a great man in a hurry. One such attempt in ten thousand may succeed. These are fearful odds. - Benjamin Disraeli

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Mouth Candy

Cleanup

Baby Shower

Business Hours

Back Massage Track

Beach Bum

Chicken Photobomb

Italian Electronic Humour

Tipsy Redneck

When You Roll A Tesla

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

House Maid For Men

Nintendo Auto Correct

Yoga Pants

Do Not Read Law

One Thousand Words

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Porsche Bird Droppings

Accordion Lessons

I Before E

Male Multitasker

Redneck Bird Feeder

Who Lost The Keys?

Teaching Hotle