#1 humor site on the 'net

Childhood Obesity

Balancing the weight of ad programs

Childhood Obesity thanks to Diane Baugh

QuotaBills
You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali


Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies

Where Safety Begins

Bad Ass Fire Truck

What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th