Christmas Haircut

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro