#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Tree Relief

Bubba heard about caring for his Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree Relief thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Water and keep a cut Christmas tree fresh through the new year

QuotaBills
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Lily Tomlin

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Radar Speed Check

Camouflage Face

Crab Bridge

Illusive Animal Kingdom

Off The Wall Biker

Buffalo Art

TitanoBoa

Secret Graduation Gift

Fish Fingers

I'll Be Right There

Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller