Christmas Tree Relief

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews. - Katharine Hepburn

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown