#1 humor site on the 'net

Critter Control

Ma's got plenty grits fer dinner!

Critter Control thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon. - Nikki Reed

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White


Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light