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Devoted Husband

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Devoted Husband thanks to Glenna Kennedy

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Marry money. - Max Shulman

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


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