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Devoted Husband

Looking forward to breakfast in bed?

Devoted Husband thanks to Glenna Kennedy

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Marry money. - Max Shulman

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor


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